Liar, liar, Lance on Fire (and turkey in Turkey)

This is a food blog, but I have something non-culinary to get off my chest. I admired and revered Lance Armstrong for many years. I accepted his denials that he cheated in order to gain ground in the bike races in France. I honored him to the extent of buying a "Live Strong" bracelet to help support his cancer foundation. Now the 'dope' comes out of the gym bag and he admits to doping. And guess why. Because he wants to be allowed to compete professionally again. He wants to find a way to worm himself back into product endorsements and the millions of dollars he can 'inject' into his bank account. I, for one, do not support his endeavors. We have been cheated by him in the same way that he cheated the cycling world. Sorry, Lance, your pants will be burning forever as far as I am concerned. On to something that actually matters - a different turkey - one of the edible kind.

Wikipedia told me that turkeys (the birds) were imported to Europe from Turkey (not the bird) long ago. I have a friend who spent this past Thanksgiving in Turkey, where they don't celebrate the holiday (except that the birds do). She had a celebratory dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I haven't cooked a whole bird in the last few years. Parts have been the way to go. I love drumsticks (I've even played timpani with them), I love thighs (I've played ... uh, oh, don't go there), I love the breast (someone help me get out of this downward spiral).

Today's chapter, excerpted from my autobiography, is titled "For the birds: how I cook budgies and other 'cheep' critters." Did you know that turkeys have been known to drown in a rainstorm if they stick their heads up into the air and "gobble"? I don't know if that's true, but I hope it is.

All you do is start by brining the thighs and/or drumsticks for 2 to 3 hours, rinse well, and dry with paper towels. Heat your oven to 300, put the thighs and/or drumsticks (I wouldn't use this method for breasts) into a pan and add some stock, some onion and carrots and green peppers and celery and pepper. Bake for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, until tender enough to eat without your dentures.

Alternatively, broil them, starting skin side down and ending skin up for crisp-itude. I would think this might be suitable for breasts as well.