Sunday, February 17, 2013

Medical Pot Roast That We Inhaled

The scene: a DC Safeway store
The motive: needed a protein for dinner
The catalyst: 30% discount on chuck roast
The result: done deal

Cast of characters:
That 3 lb. hunk o' meat
salt and pepper
garlic powder
1 1/2 onions - sliced into half moons
8 oz sliced mushrooms
2 cups beef broth
6 oz "manufactured" baby carrots
The pot (not prescribed by a doctor)
The oven (the heat which, if you can't stand it, keeps you out of the kitchen)

The wind howled as the sun groped it's way up from the horizon behind a dark and thick cloud cover (it was a sunny morning). The chef stumbled from the bed to the bathroom, down the stairs, and lurched into the kitchen (I got up, went down and turned on the coffee maker, visited the smallest room in the house, went to the front door to check for the NY Times). Unaware that there was a pot roast in his plans for the day, the chef groped around in the fridge and freezer for some darn thing to cook for dinner (I had no plans until I went grocery shopping later in the morning). He reached for the vodka bottle chilling in the freezer and made a Desperation Martini, booze in a glass with an ice cube (I waited patiently for the coffee to be ready). Hands shaking, the vodka splashed onto his wife-beater as he chugged a glug of it (I don't wear wife-beaters). The chef went back to bed (I read the paper, drank my coffee and prepared for my day).

Oh, the food. My apologies. Put onions and mushrooms in the bottom of a Dutch oven, lay the well-salted and peppered beef on them, top with more mushrooms and onions, garlic powder, and the broth. Place in a 325 oven. After one hour add the carrots. After another 1 1/2 hours, wake the chef and serve dinner.


Jenn said...

HAHAHAAAAAA!!! I must say, that is one of the best recipe postings I have seen in a long time!!
Ohhh.. and the pot roast sounds to die for!!

Michael Toa said...

Oh Stephen... You are too funny. Espresso Martini next time perhaps? :) The pot roast sounds fab!
I am liking the new blog look by the way. Sorry that I haven't been visiting for ages.

Pam said...

Hmmmm! I thought it was the start of a steamy novel for a minute, with the groping! I say, drink whatever floats your boat in the morning and dine well on this post roast. Wish we had Safeway here...

Chris said...

Best post title ever. Pot roast is legal in Colorado.

belleau kitchen said...

hysterical!.. great post... and a great looking roast!

Inside a British Mum's Kitchen said...

Love this - and the roast :)
Mary x Please, more stories with the recipes..

Angie's Recipes said...

This looks insanely delicious and indeed a protein loaded dinner. I love it.

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