Liar, liar, Lance on Fire (and turkey in Turkey)

This is a food blog, but I have something non-culinary to get off my chest. I admired and revered Lance Armstrong for many years. I accepted his denials that he cheated in order to gain ground in the bike races in France. I honored him to the extent of buying a "Live Strong" bracelet to help support his cancer foundation. Now the 'dope' comes out of the gym bag and he admits to doping. And guess why. Because he wants to be allowed to compete professionally again. He wants to find a way to worm himself back into product endorsements and the millions of dollars he can 'inject' into his bank account. I, for one, do not support his endeavors. We have been cheated by him in the same way that he cheated the cycling world. Sorry, Lance, your pants will be burning forever as far as I am concerned. On to something that actually matters - a different turkey - one of the edible kind.

Wikipedia told me that turkeys (the birds) were imported to Europe from Turkey (not the bird) long ago. I have a friend who spent this past Thanksgiving in Turkey, where they don't celebrate the holiday (except that the birds do). She had a celebratory dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I haven't cooked a whole bird in the last few years. Parts have been the way to go. I love drumsticks (I've even played timpani with them), I love thighs (I've played ... uh, oh, don't go there), I love the breast (someone help me get out of this downward spiral).

Today's chapter, excerpted from my autobiography, is titled "For the birds: how I cook budgies and other 'cheep' critters." Did you know that turkeys have been known to drown in a rainstorm if they stick their heads up into the air and "gobble"? I don't know if that's true, but I hope it is.

All you do is start by brining the thighs and/or drumsticks for 2 to 3 hours, rinse well, and dry with paper towels. Heat your oven to 300, put the thighs and/or drumsticks (I wouldn't use this method for breasts) into a pan and add some stock, some onion and carrots and green peppers and celery and pepper. Bake for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, until tender enough to eat without your dentures.

Alternatively, broil them, starting skin side down and ending skin up for crisp-itude. I would think this might be suitable for breasts as well.

Fiddlehead ferns, ramps and turkey thighs

I had better success with my camera this time. As you can see, the fiddlehead ferns are so named because their coils resemble the carving at the end of a violin fingerboard (called the "scroll"). As for their flavor? They taste unlike anything else I’ve ever had. They are very mild, slightly crunchy when cooked correctly, and reminiscent of a mélange of other green vegetables. One blogger describes them as being a cross between asparagus and artichoke. That’s as good a description as any I can think of.

The ramps are a wild leek or scallion, but with a much more pungent flavor and aroma. It is said that ramps can be smelled on you even a few days after eating them. So eat them with the person you’re going to be with the most!

My method of cooking them is very basic: a simple sauté in a bit of olive oil and butter with the addition of a few pinches of salt and pepper (to taste, as always). After the first 6 minutes, add 1/4 cup chicken stock. When the stock has evaporated the ferns should be done.


This picture of a turkey thigh is a little fuzzy. Sorry.

The thighs came from a turkey we got the day after Easter for a fraction of the original price. That sucker weighed about 20 lbs. The thighs themselves were probably 1 ½ lbs. each!

Roasted turkey thighs
2 turkey thighs, bone in and skin on
salted and peppered water for brining
olive oil
black pepper
all-purpose no-salt seasoning

Start by brining the turkey for several hours. Rinse thoroughly and dry with paper towels.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Rub the thighs with some olive oil and sprinkle with the no-salt seasoning. If you prefer, use some dried sage, oregano, thyme or tarragon.
Place on a wire rack in a baking pan and roast for 1 hour or until the internal temperature reaches 170 degrees. Tent with foil and allow them to rest for 10-15 minutes.