There's no "V" in lasagna (oh, yeah?)

Maybe two weeks ago I warned the blogosphere (that includes you) of Jenn's impending use of the "V" word at her place, jennsfoodjourney. If you click on that link right now you may still catch her recipe, chicken queso pasta. Her casual, unremarkable, confident inclusion of not only Velveeta, but Ro-tel, should be a model of the "just lay it out there" school of recipe sharing. No headlines, no hype for the Official Cheese of the 50's, just matter-of-fact presentation. That's what I meant to do here, except now I'm blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Okay, what I've done is to make a big tray of lasagna with a hefty layer of Velveeta in a middle layer and served it to my spouse, and a lady of a certain age who just got back from the hospital following a minor heart attack and an angioplasty. Our fourth was her son who had bused his way down from Pittsburgh to DC to be with her for a few days. Bottom line: everyone had seconds. No one asked any embarrassing questions about ingredients. I will go to my grave with it as my secret since I know none of you are blabbermouths.

If you are wondering when I am going to get around to the recipe, well, I'm not really going to. You all have your lasagna designs, handed down from grandma to ma to y'all. In short, I used a pound of ground turkey, a 28 oz can of whole romas, a 14 oz can of tomato sauce, garlic, salt and pepper, and four cheeses: ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, and the hero of the day, Velveeta. Oh, and I used real, grownup noodles, not those wimpy no-boil things. (Go ahead, make my day, tell me I'm an idiot.)

Mexican lasagna

It is with great reluctance that I let the soups slip back into archival limbo. I didn't conjure up this casserole in my sleep; I did so entirely awake and quite sober. Some years ago I made something like this. Now I had no need of a recipe. I would like to have submitted this as part of an episode of "The Next Iron Chef" on Food Network. I finished this masterpiece just a couple of hours ago and I still remember what's in it. I certainly remember that it has corn tortillas because, as I thought I was ready to start assemble, I realized I had neglected to buy them during my morning grocery run. I didn't use a full size lasagna dish. When I do, Peter and I get sick of it before it's gone. My dish was about half size. Here we go: (Egad, I miss those soups.)

Cut about a dozen tomatillos into 1 inch pieces. Cut up 2 cubanelle peppers about the same. Start this stuff sauteing in a bit of oil. When sizzling nicely, reduce heat to very, very low, cover and simmer for 30 minutes.You don't need to add any broth to this; the veg will render a lot of water. Let it cool a bit and then puree it in your food processor.

In another saute pan cook two 8 inch pieces of Mexican chorizo. Puree it. Add it to the sauce. The sauce now turns somewhat reddish due to the annato in the meat. I added some salt, some pepper, some ground guajillo chiles, some garlic.

Don't feel you have to make homemade ricotta from buttermilk just because I did (nyuck, nyuck). Layer corn tortillas (sliced up a bit to cover the size of the casserole) with sauce, ricotta and asadero cheese. I think it took 4 layers for mine.

Bake at 350 covered with foil for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake another 15. Let rest for 5 or 10 and then plunge in.

Lasagna roll-ups

I take a substantial amount of credit for tweaking this idea I got from somebody on Food Network (don't remember who).

This was incredibly good, if I do say so myself. I used the odd amount of 8 noodles just because that's what we had left in the lasagna box. If you make it with more noodles, just proportionately increase the quantity of each of the ingredients.

Lasagna rollups
8 lasagna noodles
1 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped or pressed
½ tsp red pepper flakes, or to taste
10 oz. sausage (any kind, removed from casing)
20 oz. tomato sauce
3 oz. tomato paste
1 stalk Fresh sage
1 stalk Fresh thyme
1 tsp dried oregano
red pepper flakes, to taste
salt and pepper to taste
½ cup warm water
4 oz. baby arugula
6 oz.Ricotta cheese
6 oz. Provolone cheese, grated
1/8 cup Parmesan cheese, grated

Cook the noodles according to package directions, leaving them al dente. Drain, rinse and set aside.

In a saute pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions, sprinkle with a pinch of salt and pepper and cook for 5 minutes until softened but not colored. Add the garlic and red pepper flakes and cook 1 minute more.

Add the sausage, another pinch of salt and pepper, and cook until browned, breaking it up with a wooden spoon. Add the tomato sauce and tomato paste and stir to combine. Add the sage, thyme and oregano. Add the water. Bring to a simmer and check for seasonings adding salt and pepper as needed. Simmer for 20-30 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Preheat the oven to 350°.

Grease a 9x12 lasagna pan. Spread a thin layer of the sauce on the bottom.

Lay the noodles out on a flat surface. Leaving a 1” area at one end of each noodle clear, spread about 1 tbsp of the sauce on each one. Lay arugula leaves on the sauce. Top that with a bit of ricotta and provolone (using no more than half). Roll the noodles up toward the clean end. Place the rollups in the baking pan with the seam side down.

Spread the rest of the sauce over the top of them along with the remaining ricotta and provolone. Cover the pan with foil and bake for 30 minutes, Remove the foil and top with parmesan. Continue baking 10 minutes ot until the top begins to brown. Remove from the oven, tent with the foil and allow to rest for 10 minutes before serving.